Be Gentle with Yourself When Dealing with Heartbreak

Spoiler alert: What you have yet to learn, life will always find a way to teach you.

He and I fell into our relationship. I say “fell” because it wasn’t a conscious decision. We just were.

Two weeks out of the month, I was in Phoenix. I’d come to New York and stay with him, and our weeks would be filled with long walks through the city. He was the most affectionate man I’ve ever been with: always, he held my hand. Always, he held me at night.

Dinners together, brunch with friends—our weeks were stitched together with such “normal” occurrences that it felt like we were building a life together. No one made me laugh like that. No one made my heart feel like this.

I wanted our life together to include a commitment. “I know it sounds silly,” I’d concede to my friends. “But I’ve never felt like this. I want to marry him. I want a life with him.” And I’d ask, “Do you think he’ll ever marry me?”

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